Saturday, October 31, 2009

Old Man's Winter



Cito Gaston is from the future. He was created by the Bell Telephone company and sent back in time to put a financial strain on Rogers Blue Jays baseball operations. Under the guise of putting nostalgists in the seats, the main purpose of the Gas-one cyborg unit is to slowly but surely alienate every player on the team and reduce them to a bunch of infighting diaper soilers. Really, who goes to a game to watch someone manage it? Even if they exhumed Sparky Anderson from the old folks home, that's not gonna put me in a seat.

So, Cito's staying on for another year. We can thank the newly anointed emperor Beeston for this one. What was it that Caesar said about refusing the crown until they have you begging to take it? Well, fuck what Caesar said, but he made good salads.

I'm not really sure how a sober mind could put Cito back in the driver's seat after this season. When the turds hit the ceiling fan at the end of the year and players were openly pointing to Cito and saying "this is the problem, this guy right here", you'd have to be somewhat retardo montelban not to do something about it.

From shitting on Barajas, feuding with Accardo when he was one of the few half-bright spots in the bullpen, the rumours that he was a big part of why Rolen split town, to his inexplicable enthusiasm for Kevin Millar's brand of washed up baseball, Cito's track record this season does not warrant an encore. Even Brad Arnsberg has flown the coop to Houston, which might indicate that the rumblings that even the coaches had a problem with him were true.

It's gonna be a hard battle for the Jays to get their shit together before the world ends in 2012.

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