Burning Ghosts

Twins vs. Brown Bombers
ALDS Game 2

Right now I'd like to think that the Twins can come off whatever happens here with a wet biscuit of a victory back at the white domed roof with some measure of glee. The glee I would get from this would be a purely vengeful glee. I could care how well Minnesota does, may as well be the Washington Nationals for all I care, hell I'd like to see the Nationals in their place. That's how much I truly care about the Twins.

But the Yankees, for thee my scourge knows no bounds. What a whole rotten franchise. Even worse, they built on top of one hell of a rich heritage, and covered it with shit. Like those Euros that built on top of Incan ruins in Peru.

But back to the Twins, Joe Mauer is a fine specimen of olympian DNA. He's like the Reese Forbes of baseball.


Alas, Joe Nathan taken deep by A-Rod fills my trousers shamefully. Hearts sink all across the midwestern plains.

Fuck Kate Hudson
Fuck Louise Ciccone
Fuck Jose Canseco's wife

...

Also, fuck referring to yourself in the 3rd person too.


Yet, all is not lost. We go to the 10th.

Piss Break



Denard Spic and Spannnnnnnnnnnnnnnn, to no avail. Baby's bottom of the dime piece.

Posada, chinless wonder in full effect. Broken bat bumbaclaat. Pinch runner what a bummer. Brett Gardner Pherris Lardo.

C'mon Michael Phelps, do your thing with king tut's bling. Are you fucking serious TBS? Throwing computer graphics in the dirt when a dude leads off the bag? Quit trying to spice this shit to Volcano Taco status.

Brett "Grey Gardens" Gardner popping the wheelie. To third with Nathaniel's boner, he blew the big one right out of the bucket.

YEW!!!! 11th

What the fuck! That pigeon fucking ump was staring that fair ball right in the face. Yes, fuck you, Mauer gets on anyways. That should've been a double.

Kubel Khan getting tings done. I like where this is going with an empty outhouse. Y'harrr, bases be full, I can taste the salt between yer legs.

Well, slit me open and feast upon my liver. Full bags, empty outhouse, full strandage....
Yankers pop the stink factor, Texeira style, how depressing.

I'm gonna go ahead and assume fat Minnesotans are frothing right now and puking up their burgers with rage.

Realtyme interturd.