ALCS Game 2
I missed most of the first nugget in this happy meal, but my rapture is yours, dear reader, as I dwell delusionally while sick in bed on a Saturday night. S-A-T-U-R-D-A-Y Night.
I got a hot date with Johnny Fever.
Anyways bro, I'm cloud nined. Chone Figgins is as rough as a crocodile's asshole right now, pussy ass earflaps are for Texeira type turds, and stank call on AJ's dirtball third strike here in the 4th. Fuck your fake ass Charlie Hustle aspirations Jeter-san. You'll never have the real hustle, son.
Dude had maybe too much hustle. But as the old saying goes, it doesn't really count unless you bet against your own team.
Figgins has not been living up to his reputation of legendary fig consumption. He clearly does not have a case of the trots.
Fuckin Jeter, shut your mouth when you're on the field you cock rustler. That fuck will do anything for an edge. He'd slit a teammates tendon in the shower with a straight razor. These are some allegations right here.
Abreu takin it to the outer realm in the top of the 5th here. Hella foul balls, fowl balls, Ethan Fowler's balls:
Johnny Damon actually caught something other than a case of gonorrhea. Nah, I don't mind Damon that much. For a Yankee, I find him tolerable, don't ask me why... Maybe he just looks allright compared to the vomitous sludge sitting on the bench on either side of him.
Burnett you shit baller. You're blowing it. I'm loving it. I want a cheeseburger.
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