Broomhilda and the Jumblingtons Greatest Hits

World Series of Poker
Game 4

Juice Ape plunked for the third time. Methinks some measure of violence could possibly follow. Are you gonna take that, Juice Ape? Be a man and stand up for Kate Hudson's honor. Yankees have already managed to squeeze out a deuce of runs in the first.

If I could divert your attention away from the game for one moment, I'd like to talk about this commercial:



Sexism is still sadly rampant in Western society. As much progress as has been made since the good old days of public bra burning and outrageously long armpit hair, the status of the female in North America is still not one of equal footing with the male. You'd think that as far as Hillary Clinton has made it, there should be some kind of equal opportunity for women in this country. The fact that they can't show a woman with a black eye in the above commercial is a damning indicator of how old fashioned the values of our culture are. Perhaps one day, we can dream together a world where women and men will fight each other on a pay per view basis.

Back to the baseball game. CreamCorn Sabathia beefcake burger thug at the plate. I love watching pitchers hit, I really do. If they actually get a hit, it's ten times better. If they don't, it looks so inept it's just as entertaining. I also love seeing position players have to pitch, so maybe I should just start following the Venezuelan softball squad for the Special Olympics.

Fuck Joe Buck. Fuck Buck. "The new Pearl Jam album is terrific." Get that shit outta here, I don't need to hear that during a ball game. Nor do I appreciate the NFL updates during the World Series, you turd.

Hoo boy, Ryan Howard ties it at two by bowling over the chinless wonder. Fully didn't touch the plate and it looks like he knows it too. Plenty of grievances to air at your local bronx watering hole.

Two more Yankee runs courtesy of Jeter and Damon ribeye singles.

Utley once again brings the fire and brimstone with a solo carpet bombing in the bottom of the seventh. CreamCorn is pulled out and tossed in the fridge. 4-3 Yankers. Pedro Feliz follows up Utley's biscuit in the eighth to tie it the same way.

Damon finagles two bases on a steal with the massive shift on. Teixeira gets the kerplunk treatment. Juice Ape up for hero status with a ribeye double. Brad Lidge is a stressed out leprechaun. Chinless Posada drives in a pair of assholes and it's 7-4.

Three up three down in the bottom of the ninth and thus concludes vigorously disappointing outcome. A substantial pit has been dug for the Phillies. Little Timmy has fallen down a well and it's gonna take more than Lassie to pull him out.