Rickay, Don't Do Me Like Dat

So, who's gonna be the opening day starter for the Jays? We shall see, but perchance could it be? The devilish twirls of Ricky Romero shall pass unto thee? But hark, do not count his praises so. It could be to an untimely end that his talents turn to woe.

For lately has a craze emerged, quite rankled and foolishly lewd. Strapping bands of rubber upon one's protruding limbs of stew. All among the merry folk they dished out dollars quick. Powerbalance had proclaimed they were kings of the public.

They sold their wares like snake oil merchants from the old wild west of yore. "Just slip me on and then you'll see," I'll elevate your bore. The honeydew mack will uncurupt all sporting feats of strength. Irie waves of concentrate will elongate your length.

That was the promise sprung upon the spending Californians. They tried so hard to believe, it made the failin' more enormian. So Ricky, when they tell you that your rubber don't have no worth. Please don't take it so hard that you pitch 'em in the dirt.